I'm watchin T.V. I guess that's a solution

fffffff

2005-01-12T02:47:10Z

fuck. just fuck.

an empty chair at all your tables

2004-08-26T17:11:09Z

Wow, so much has been happening, I'm moved out, got a new job, old friends, new love, so much has changed... things are going really well though! I'm living with my best friend now which is way fun we make good roomates! I found a way killer job! And Ian is so fun to hang out with! Next Wed. Ian and I are going to San Jose, and then thursday night I'm leaving for Oregon to go see the Pixies and Death Cab For Cutie!!! Way stoked!!!!!! Last week Kaysea Weichi and I drove to S.F. just for dinner! We met a tranny named Vinessa who listened to "the 80s moosic" and hung out with Wanderer Phil! Anyhow I gotta go get ready and shit.

"when did java joes turn into a porn store"

2004-08-17T04:26:25Z

ah so one more session and my side will be complete i cannot wait it seems like so far off though!!!! YARGH!!!!!

my name is mud

2004-08-06T16:36:15Z

the countdown,
a showdown,
its bound to be bloody,
its got to be cruel,
my shit's all packed,
i'm ready to go,
my shit's all done,
i have one month to go,
let the clock start counting,
the days till i leave,
let the walls come apart right from the seams,
i'm moving
i'm leaving
and Maryland is going to be so much better

end.

Cocaine and Toupees

2004-07-16T04:04:51Z

I hate this I am so frustrated with my life right now! I mean it's nothing horrible just a bunch of little things that all contribute to one another. Anyhow I'm bored so I'm leaving.

quote of the day: "everone's afraid of their own life if you could be anything you wanted you wouldn't be disappointed am i right" - Modest Mouse

cold shower

2004-07-12T10:46:34Z

It's been a while since I made any sort of real update, I however am still not sure as to whether or not that non-update streak shall end here.
Alex is leaving for Vegas in one hour and twenty minutes, and that sucks. He'll be back next weekend only to leave for another two weeks after a nights rest. I am very much so opposed to the whole thing bu I guess its good. I however am not going anywhere for any reason anytime in the near future, that is unless of course I can get a transfer at my job. I got my side lined out yesterday, that was rad! I can't wait to get it full color! It's going to be the best tattoo Carson has ever seen! Anyways yeah thats about it for me, so I'm off to bed

Kayla

oh yeah somebody left a litter of kittens down by the BLM offices in carson and I am on a mission to save one (or more) of them!!!

vegas sucks ass

2004-07-12T08:06:16Z

love love love love love i am gonna miss alex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanna live in the city

2004-07-09T09:05:17Z

I can change I can cut it open
Look at me the way you did before
I can change
diagnose the symptom
buy the anecdote but not the cure
Hold me under
cut away this empty
Hold me under
change the way I feel about you
I can change
I'll correct the defect
repair the injury called you and me
I can change
I'll surrender to it
I can suffer with the best of them
Hold me under
cut away this empty
Hold me under
change the way I feel about you
I can't change
I'll replace the decay
make you second guess your everyday
I can't change
I'll survey the damage
Kill the narcissist with his reflection
until tomorrow
Hold me under
cut away this empty
Hold me under
change the way I feel about you
Hold me under
cut away this empty
Hold me under
change the way I feel about you
until tomorrow

still a little bit of your face i haven't kissed

2004-06-04T06:47:45Z

i seem to have stopped writing, and i don't just mean in my livejournal, i mean i have completely stopped. sometimes i wish i could go back to the days of highschool where i could just sit in class with my headphones and trully create art. i just never have the time anymore, i suppose thats the reason i'm looking forward to oregon, how i'll just have time time time. I wonder if the way i feel is in any way due to my lack of me time.... i used to spend hours upon hours upon days completely isolated but three months ago that was completely changed i was thrown into a whirlwind of activity i lost all control of my life. they said it was how it was supposed to be, they said i'd adjust quite well, that soon it would be normal. i feel awful, i just never could quite get my leg over the fence, so i stopped trying to climb and now i feel just as awful about the whole thing as i did while i was in it. i've had so much emotion building up but i didn't have time to realize that i was overwhelmed. and now, well i still have no time but my body is struggling to stay in stride. its nights like these when the moon is shining bright outside but the view is too much the same when i feel so trapped. i'm not sad or depressed, i just feel like things will never change, like i'll never get away from this place. i should go to bed now.

hello, i'm neurotic, creating problems that don't exist.

2004-06-02T06:46:17Z

Wow, long time no update eh? well I work too much and I LOVE ALEX!!!!!!!!!! Well yeah I did a new layout so yeah boredom rocks and such!!!

<3core (heartcore)

oh yeah i bought a betta fish, his name is Ted, he is black with red highlights on his tail

update, i'm so vain

hehe yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

2004-05-26T03:20:39Z

♥Kayla and ♥Alex

Plan to conceive one rockin' girl.
Love to skinnydip for the foreseeable future.
Tour in June.

Orchestrated by ianiceboy

long time, its n ice to see you again

2004-04-29T20:35:21Z

Well geeze, its been a while since I last updated. Carson I just want to say, everything's fine and I miss you like crazy but I'm sure our paths will cross they always do! Blah, ok well I dunno what to say right now....

onegirlsrain @ 2004-04-11T22:56:00

2004-04-12T05:56:48Z

Wow, long time no update. huh, well, life is great I got a new job, I love my work. I love GOD! PRAISE JESUS! Happy Easter everyone, erm, well. I have nothin else to say.

onegirlsrain @ 2004-04-01T00:40:00

2004-04-01T08:40:27Z

today rocked! i loved it so! blah blah blah

kahlen, my piercing didn't hurt!!!!

hello, i've been waiting for you.

2004-03-31T08:56:17Z

I know you're out there somewhere,
just waiting for me to find you,
And I want you to know I'm leaving on a journey,
I won't come home till I find you,
Not til I find you

I see you when I close my eyes,
I can already hear the things you'd say,
And I'm leaving home to find you,
I'll pack my bags tonight,
and catch the next flight.

You're out there and
I'm leaving on a journey
to meet you halfway
to finally speak your name
to get that first taste of love

I know that you're out in this world
Waiting for me to confess my love
No carbon copies, no big charade,
I know I'll find you, find you someday

I can smell your skin so close to me,
And I can taste your breath so warm,
I know we'll find eachother,
And i'm leaving on a journey,
I packed my bags tonight

You're out there and
I'm leaving right now,
to seek you out, to
finally speak your name
to drink of your love
yeah your love

the lines on the road seem to become one, and i don't know where i'll end up, no i don't know to where i'll go, but i'll find you, and we'll dance under the night sky for the rest of our days. oh for the rest of our lives, just you and me. I'm searching for you, calling out to you, just waiting for you to hear me

Indie, me? gasps oh no i thought no one knew! :oP

2004-03-30T21:35:45Z

Which 1990's Subculture Do You Belong To?

[Another Quiz by Kris
@ couplandesque.net]

random survey

2004-03-30T02:19:40Z

A - age: 18

B - band listening to now: Radiohead & pj harvey -this mess we're in

C - career in the future: not sure. Whatever God decides I'd be best at doing

D - dad's name: Alan

E - easiest person to talk to: myself

F - Favorite song (current): FATA- short stories with tragic endings

G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: poprocks

H - Hometown: Carson city, nv

I - Instruments: keytar, flute, my stomach, kazoo, voice

K - Kids: yeah, i know what those are

L - Longest car ride ever: I don't know

M - Mom's name: Mom

N - No. of people you slept with: 0

P - Phobia[s]: falling off the earth literali

Q - Favorite Quote: anything I've ever said

R - Reason to smile: i'm still alive, and God still loves me

S - Song you sang last: Building you a monument by rainy day army

T - Time you wake up: between 8 and 10 o'clock, typically

U - Unknown fact about me: I read alot

V - Vegetable you hate: peas unless they're uncooked

W - Worst habit: i bite my nails, i don't read the word enough, and i am having trouble shedding my grave clothes

X - X-rays you've had: my hands, my teeth, and other areas

Y - Yummy food: yes food is yummy

Z - Zodiac sign: libra, but zodiac signs are lame

compassion and vulnerability

2004-03-29T21:30:07Z

Go ahead, take advantage of me, I'll forgive you, and I'll still love you as much as ever, as much as before. I'm sorry for whatever it was that you found so incredibly wrong with me,but I still care, go ahead, call me naive, I know whats going on, thats not why I still care, I still care because thats all I can do, where's the joy in being bitter? How can I grow as a person, if I hold onto the flaws of others?

Go ahead, beat me till I'm broken, I've already forgiven you, and I'll never hold that grudge that you're looking for. I'm sorry that you feel the way you do, I never wanted you to. And if you ever find yourself here, reading this passage, just know, time will not make these words fade, and I will always care about you.

Sad to say but it's alright

Came down from some northern town
To share with you what I had
And you were drinking it all in
And I kept thinking you cared

I obliged your lines
And opened my heart to you
I catored to your wishes
Then you asked me what I wanted

Chorus:

What I wanted you refused to give
All I wanted was a little compassion
What I wanted wasn't in your vocabulary
All I wanted was a little
a little nothing of importance to you

You showed up after the storm
To take all you needed and ran
You showered me in lines that,
I swallowed like sugar

You made yourself out to be so bad
You held me close to your heart
To make sure I was sleeping deeply
You pulled back the trigger of your .357

Chorus:

What I wanted you couldn't supply
All I wanted was a little honesty
What I wanted you pretended to give
All that I wanted
I wanted only you

Smoke free for a week and two days

2004-03-29T00:59:14Z

Well, I just got back from Tattoo Revolution, Danny pierced my right conch, super nice! I love it! I guess Morgan got his Labre' done there on Friday night, thats what Danny said anyway. Man everyone told me "Oh Kayla it's going to hurt, don't do it" Yeah, The worst part was getting the ball on the hoop. It tickled more than anything else. So yeah, I'm bored, I wish he would call, to hang or to talk, anything really. Back to my conch though, IT BLED SO MUCH! I was laughing so hard! Danny got all nervous cause I was his first conch and we didn't know it'd bleed that much but he did such a good job!I'm supposed to go back Wed. and get something else, not sure yet, but I don't really have the cash to be spending on it. GROWL I wish God would just give me a job already! Anyhow I'm gonna lay down and nap for a while!

If anyone is bored and wants to hang give me a ring. I'll be around. .coughcarsoncough.

onegirlsrain @ 2004-03-26T11:17:00

2004-03-26T19:15:16Z

Sitting here at 1105am makes me wonder, maybe I should have gone, it could have been good for me, oh well. The fact that I rejected the invitation is probably a sign from up above. Ok, I talked closure into myself, and now I'm going to go drive around and think.

onegirlsrain @ 2004-03-24T02:46:00

2004-03-24T10:46:33Z

God works in such mysterious ways, oh how I can't even begin to understand, tonight was such a beautiful night, a night I wish didn't have to end... The way I sang to him and he just wanted to listen, and I never had to ask " are you listening" and he told me secrets, and just drove, stopping to look at the stars...and he always listened, he says I make him melt, like chocolate in the sun, he says I make him feel comfortable in his skin and that I warm his heart like a plush blanket in the cold. He said I hold the key to all the secrets he's been hiding and that with one breath I could steal his heart away... He said, and I listened, I spoke, and he heard what I had to say...

she's gone they tell me are you listening?

2004-03-24T00:41:17Z

not alone but not yet in love,
i'm waiting for him,
he's out there somewhere,
traveling in distant lands,
saving lost souls,
and i'm waiting,
waiting for God,
it'll happen in time,
when the time is right

DJNastySpinnin: me personally, im tired of waiting for that one person, but ive learned that searching for them is NOT the key, the key is to obey Gods will, and walk the walk and he'll provide one day, and that day will rock
DJNastySpinnin: yea, ive been really tryin to figure out what feelings are really spirtual, or if its just fleshy
onegirlsrain: yeah,
onegirlsrain: well i think feelings (pure feelings) are spiritual,
onegirlsrain: i think when i fall in love it will feel like i've known them forever yet i want to know more, and my soul will feel like its found a friend, and we'll understand eachother without saying a word, and whenever i see him, my spirit no matter how saddened it may be will be filled with joy and laughter
onegirlsrain: OH HOW I CAN'T WAIT TO FALL IN LOVE!
DJNastySpinnin: amen

these knuckles break before they bleed

2004-03-22T20:45:20Z

quick update:
FRIDAY-went to sac, ate @ in&out went to sca vinyard community church
SATURDAY- went to tahoe played in lake, Sarah took pictures Katie read bible Mikey meditated
SUNDAY- went to church, went to BBQ, went to reno, got upset and slept it off
TODAY- going to get my conch's pierced maybe something else but i'm not sure what else i want pierced

stolen from jacob, who stole it from candice

2004-03-19T19:09:28Z

Ten Things Your Younger Self Would Say Upon Meeting Older ( Current ) Self :

I: So you still like reading? thats neato.

II: You're singing in a band?!?! Are we famous yet?

III: Driving a car? Why haven't we driven away yet?

IV: are we in love yet?

V: you still play in the dirt?! you're cool

VI: you've had HOW MANY RELATIONSHIPS?!?!?! wow, and all this time I thought we wouldn't waste our time

VII: so, have you seen tori in concert yet?

VIII: EEEEW you kiss girls?!!

IX: you hated school?????????

X: Be prepared to modify your plan

whats in a name

2004-03-19T19:00:47Z

K - You like to try new things.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

C - You definitely have a partier side in you, dont be shy to show it.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
E - You are a very exciting person.

A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C - You definitely have a partier side in you, dont be shy to show it.
D - You have trouble trusting people.
E - You are a very exciting person.
F - Everyone loves you.
G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H - You are not judgemental.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
J - Jealousy.
K - You like to try new things.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
M - Success comes easily to you.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
O - You are very open-minded.
P - You are very friendly and understanding.
Q - You are a hypocrite.
R - You are a social butterfly.
S - You are very broad-minded.
T - You have an attitude, a big one.
U - You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V - You have a very good physical and looks.
W -You like your privacy .
X - You never let people tell you what to do .
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
Z- You're always fighting with someone.